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Day Four at the RNC What I Saw at the Toilet Fire

Day Four at the RNC What I Saw at the Toilet Fire

Wait,weneedtowrapupwhathappenedatthatotherconvention!

YouguysmissedthebestpartofThursdaynight’sbigspeech。

Theballoon-poppingpart。

Itraveleddowntotheconventionfloortowitnesstherubbercarnageandtakeartsyballoonandconfettipornphotography。

Itwassimultaneouslyfunandalsoweirdlyscary。

Funbecauseballoons!

Andconfetti!

Intheshapesofstars。

Red,whiteand?

blue!

Balloonswerekickedintotheairaspeoplewalkedandcollectedinbunchesinthechairsandcorners。

Thekidsonthestagedidaprettygreatjobcollectingthemagainsttheclearaquariumglassthatwasonthesidesofthestageinfrontofthewhitestairs。

Kidspoppingballoons?

—?

Icouldwatchthatall?

day。

QuickenLoansArenahousekeepinghadthesebroomstickswithsharpthingsonthefront。

Theydiligentlypokedandpoked。

Thetimebetweenballoonsfallingandballoonshavingtobepoppedwaslike30minutes。

It’sstrangetohavethemhangingintheraftersallweek,preparedtofall。

Onlytothenfallinaboutaminute。

Thesadlifeofpoppedballoons!

Butsofuninthe?

popping!

Scarybecausethepoppingsoundwassometimesalittletoobullet-like。

Thepoppingfromthetopdecksoundedattimeslikemachinegunsgoingoff。

AfewtimeswhenIwasontheconventionfloorandoneofthelargerballoonpoppedpeoplejumped。

Itwasajumpycrowd,madejumpybyDonaldTrump’sapocalypticvisionof?

America。

Ithadbeenalongweekofdodgingdudesdressedasawall,dudessquirtingeachotherwithsquirtgunsfullofurine,dudespreachingthecreepiestgospelever,dudesinpoliceuniformsfromalloverthecountry。

ExpectingshotstocomefromGod-knows-where。

TheRNCinClevelandhadbeenbuiltupinnumerousarticlesassomekindofOKCorralforallwhodaredattend。

Therewouldbebloodinthestreets。

Therewouldbenorovirusestocatch。

Welcometothebeginningoftheendofthe?

world。

Andevenifitwasn’ttheendoftheworlditdefinitelyfeltlikewewerelosingsomethingjustbywatchingeverythingthatwashappening。

AsTrumpspeeched,theupperdeckswhereIsatwereconflicted。

Twoorthreepeoplewerewayintoit,givinganaffirmativereactiontoalmosteveryscaryline。

Like“Ialonecanfixit。

”Or“Iamthelawandordercandidate。

”Othersstoodandapplaudedfrequentlyenough,asiscustom。

MostseemedtochoosetheirstandingandapplaudingwhentherewasoverlapbetweenMr。

Trump’sideasandtheirs。

TheappointmentofSupremeCourtjusticesandprotectingtheSecondAmendmentevokedthemostoverlap。

Iwasledtobelievetherewasnocheeringinthepressbox。

Ididn’thaveabox,justtheseatclosesttotheoutletallthewayintheverylast?

row。

DidTrump’sspeechmakethestarsontheflagwavedimmer,thestripesseemalittlemeaner?

Sure。

TheprogressionofRepublicanpoliticsoverthelastthirtyyearshasrevealedthegearsbehindthemechanism:whatoncewascoveredbyallpolishandcharmhadslowlyerodedsothatonecouldcometoseeexactlyhowtheRepublicansausagewasmade。

It’sbecomeallshoutandnopoetry。

Theyhaven’twonthePresidencyinawhile,sothey’vegoneshrillwarningAmericansjusthowdangerousitisouttheretopracticallyeventrytolive。

Illegalimmigrantsaretryingtokillusinanecdotalnumbersthatdonotmeritseriousconsideration。

It’slikethenumberofpeoplewhodieeveryyearandareeatenbytheircats。

Whoarethesealoofinvaderswhoeattheirowner’seyesout?

Howcanwestopthemfrommaulingusafter?

death?

It’sbeenafewdayssincetheendoftheconventionandI’vehadthreelongbusridestothinkaboutwhatitallmeans。

Anditmeansnothing。

Surelyyou’vereadanarticlebynowabouthowTrumpisanauthoritarianandhisvisionforAmericaisdarkandbleakandterrifying。

Itdoesn’tmatter。

Thereare100millionmomentsbetweennowandelectiondaywherehecouldwinitorblowit。

AmericacertainlyseemsopentohisstyleofAmericanFascismtocurewhateverqueasy,upsetfeelingintheirstomachsthey’refeelingaboutthedirectionofpoliticalleadershipinAmerica。

Andoverthenextfourdays,HillaryClintonwillhaveachancetomakehercase,althoughwiththebigDNCemailhackasaprecursor,it’salreadya?

mess。

Wasitatoiletfire?

No,itwaslongandmostboringandattimesalittlescary。

Butmaybenotatoiletfire。

Imean,atoiletfirewouldbeafascinatingthingtowatch,andthiswasonlyfascinatinginbriefmoments。

Americaisprobablyjustasscrewedasitwasbeforetheconvention。

Whatweremytake-awaysfromCleveland?

Ilikedthecityalot。

ThePublicSquareparkisaniceadditiontothecity。

Thecopswerenice。

Alllawenforcementactedinarestrainedwaythatallowedthesillinessof“protesters”wintheday。

NoonementionedyoungTamirRice,shotbypoliceinaparkwhilecarryingatoygun。

IcametoenjoythechickenfingersandcurlyfriesoftheQuickenLoansArenaquiteabit。

WouldIliketocoveroneoftheseagainin4years?

Askmein4years。

UntilthenIwillattempttoenjoyeverydayDonaldTrumpisn’tPresidentoftheUnitedStatesasiftheyweremylastdays,asiftheyweretheverylastdaysoftheRepublic。

Americawasaprettycoolexperimentanditwasgoingtoeventuallyendanyway。

Maybenowisthetime,aftermuchtalkoftheendoftheworld,tojustembraceit。

Wespendsomuchtimeworryingabouthowthingswillendupifpoliticsdon’tgoourway。


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